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New Things

Oh and just because I feel like I should say something about it, some things have changed on the blog. I added some new widget stuffs, including a hit counter and the email subscription button. Right now, I’m going through my old posts from when I started the blog as “private” and I’ve realized that none of my posts since then have been private. So I’m going back to the older posts that I imported as private and making some of them public. Not all, cuz some are just too juicy for all eyes to read.

Also, it’s snowing. But only til January 4th. So neat.

UPDATE: As of January 3rd, all posts that will become public have done so. I’ve omitted the parts I’m not keen on everyone reading and kept those pieces private.

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Just one more hour to go. And I’ve finished everything I have to get done at work this year. Here’s hoping nothing plops onto my desk at the last minute this time. And as long as I have the appearance of being busy, the girls shouldn’t be shunting anything off onto me. *fingers crossed*

So in the interest of enjoying my new iPad, using the iTunes card my supervisor gave me for Christmas, and also getting back into drawing stuffs, I bought Sketchbook Pro for $3 (normally $8ish) on the App Store, and after seeing reviews for Inspire Pro, bought that too, for $1 (also normally $8ish). And since I know I’m hopeless at drawing with a fingertip, I went ahead and bought a Pogo Stylus on Amazon.com for about $8 (normally $15). I have just received confirmation that it has been delivered and I can pick it up from my doorstep when I get home. So excited to play around with it! I need some drawing ideas though. That was always my biggest problem: inspiration. I can draw from life just fine, but when it comes to drawing randomness from my head… well I suck.  In fact, there’s really not anything random in my head as far as visuals go. Not anymore, if there ever was.

And now I’ve killed enough time that there’s only 45 minutes left til my 3-day weekend starts. Yay.

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Totally overdid it at karaoke last night. Drank too much. Got sick. Thankfully didn’t get kicked out of the bar, but slept for a bit in my car. Got cold and turned the car on for heat, then fell asleep again, burning about a 1/4 tank of gas. Got home at like 4am. Managed to not wake up Irish, but we both slept through alarms like mad this morning. Apparently his was on purpose though, since he had some overtime to burn.

Wore my “I woke up late/I’m lazy” hat today and got to work on time, but no one was here yet. Ugh. Every time.

ArmyGuy was supposed to come to karaoke last night, but had to work late, which sucked, but hopefully he’ll come down next week. I invited Irish to come since I was going home first before karaoke, but he went out with some coworkers after work. Oh well. Maybe he’ll come out next week too.

The night started out alright. I was passing out the last remnants of peppermint bark, drinking beer, and hanging out waiting for karaoke to start. Then a guy across the bar bought me a drink (but said it was actually on the bartender girl). I gladly accepted the drink, not being one to turn down free booze, and reveled in the moment since that has never happened to me before. It was pretty cool. Even if it was actually from the bartender.

Went up and sang Lips of an Angel by Hinder while I was still sober and was actually shaking a bit, which I never do. Then sang Game of Love by Santana and Michelle Branch when I was definitely drunk. But I kept drinking.

I had been debating on getting food, but didn’t know what I wanted and then had drank too much to be hungry anymore. Big mistake not ordering food. I may have been fine if I had. Food = booze sponge.

So a few hours later, it’s getting late, probably round 11:30 or so, and I start to feel woozy. I hit the bathroom as a precaution, but turns out I needed it. I didn’t end up leaving the bathroom until almost last call, at which point I had two cups of water then hit the bathroom again. And ran into an old friend from middle school as she was holding my hair back. So ridiculous. I was miserable. I didn’t expect to get that drunk last night and I’m usually a lot more responsible than that, especially when I have to drive home afterward. I just don’t know what happened.

Some friends drove me in my car to their place and I napped for a few hours in the car. The one said she’d bring out a blanket to me, but never did. I ended up getting cold and waking up, turning the car on for the heat, and falling back to sleep, the car running for a couple hours. When I woke up, I realized all that had happened and started crying. I felt like such an asshole. I don’t know how I’m going to face the bar again.

Somehow I got gas and got home safely, though a tad perilously. Managed to not wake Irish upon my arrival. Somehow. And slept clear through my alarm going off until 8am. Didn’t actually roll out of bed til 8:15-ish though. But neither did he. Was weird to be getting ready at the same time for work. I even grabbed foods for him so that he could have a decent breakfast for once.

Speaking of food, I really need to have a bread-inclusive lunch. Thinking of hitting some sandwich place, either Subworks or Eddie’s Market I think. The former is so much closer. Hmm… decisions on an empty stomach really suck.

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So I realize that I said I would try to do at least one post every week, but have not held myself to that. Well I blame the holidays and general schedule craziness. And I got a job. So that’s very whoo-hoo!

I started a Web/Graphic Designer job on the 6th and haven’t had much time to do anything besides work and sleep since then. The first week of the job, we had a Christmas party and the company-wide gift was an iPad. And I got one. I had just been thinking about the possibilities of owning one and how I could blog so much easier on an iPad. Then I get one, but never used it to post. Granted I’m still not using it for that. It’s been an e-reader and video game system so far. Even this post is being done at work cuz I’m on lunch and work is light – for now. The rush was last week.

I’m loving the job so far and it’s actually in my field. They also are wanting me to do some animation/video work at some point since I’ve got experience with that. The most animation involved thing I’ve done so far was a photoshop animated gif with text, but they were impressed. The other designers hate web/animation work so that works fine for me.

I’ve also been sick these past few weeks…err… month. General flu-like stuff and then lots of coughing/hacking. I’m finally getting better again though, so hopefully that holds out. I’ve been sick my whole time at work so far too, which sucks, so no one has gotten to see the true/regular me. Hoping for a clean bill of health in the new year. Fingers crossed.

So yeah, I got an iPad after a week of working here. The next week was the building party, where I got a red cashmere scarf. The next week I got a Christmas bonus. Best timing ever. Win. Then a 4 day weekend for Christmas and a 3 day weekend coming up for New Years (which I still have to find plans for) and that makes this week a 3 day work week. So much win.

Christmas was pretty cool this year and I didn’t have to drive 7 hours this time. Spent some of Christmas Eve at Irish’s parents’ place, opening presents with the kids and having dinner. I got Assassin’s Creed for 360 and a gift card. Then we went to my parents’ house for Christmas Eve snacks and hangouts. I brought my iPad to show my parents and use as pretense for a present. I had just gotten paid that day and wanted to give them some moneys toward what I owe them from being unemployed all that time, and gave them a check for $600, saying: I thought you might like the iPad, and I was gonna buy you one, but figured I’d just give you the money for one instead. It was intended as a joke, knowing it’d go towards what I owe them. It went right over my dad’s head though. Ugh. Ridiculous. At least my mother knew what I meant by it. So after that awkwardness was over, we kept chatting and snacking until finally heading home after midnight.

Christmas morning was cool too, since Irish and I got to open presents just the two of us. He seemed to like everything I got him, so that’s cool. I bought Fable 3 and Borderlands: Game of the Year Edition on Black Friday, but couldn’t wait so those were early gifts to us. But I did give him Fallout: New Vegas and Bioshock on Christmas. I also gave him a shiny new Casio Solar Waveceptor watch, a leather left gauntlet for his rennfest costume, slippers, and assorted football clothings. Good haul for him, I’d say. He gave me Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess for Wii (wanted for years since it came out), a bottle of Davidoff Cool Water perfume (always loved but never owned), and some pretty swooshy design diamond earrings (which I just found online here).

Then it was time for Christmas dinner/lunch at my parents’ house. It was surprisingly good and we stuffed ourselves. Then presents happened and I got the obligatory Best Buy gift card from my brother (we always get each other the same thing) and a Dragon 2011 planner from his new wife. We all got cards with $30 from the parents, even Irish, so he was surprised with that. Brother gave the parents a present that I nudged Irish about, saying jokingly: Hey it looks like an iPad with a screen protector attached to it. Then it was. I was laughing my ass off, and so was Dad. It was even better that I had brought my iPad over the night before, so he knew he liked it. It’s really for Mom, cuz Dad’s always on the computer and she never gets to learn or do anything. But since all they use it for is email, internet, and games, it works perfectly.

It also made sense of Brother’s silence/awkwardness during my check presenting the night before.

We hung out a bit there, had some cake, then headed over to Irish’s parents’ house to watch Inception, since I’d given it to IrishDad for Christmas. It was just as good as I’d remembered it to be, especially cuz I couldn’t remember the ending at all. So that was cool.

The rest of the weekend was after-Christmas shopping, video games, and such. I had off yesterday so I played some Fable 3 then hit up Borderlands with Guardian for awhile til Irish got home. Then had some dinner and went to exchange gifts with TinyFists. I got her some earrings and she gave Irish and me a $100 gift card to Duclaw. I was shocked and surprised. I hadn’t expected such a pricey thing from her, but that’s awesome.

Brought the first batch of peppermint bark I made for Christmas into work today and left it in the kitchen. I think it’s been slaughtered by now. I was going to take it to karaoke, but I don’t think that’ll happen. Oh well. I’m still gonna hit the bar tonight and ArmyGuy is gonna be there too, whom I haven’t seen in ages.

I think that pretty much takes care of the catchup from this past month. If I’ve missed something and you’re wondering about it, just leave me a comment and I’ll post about it soon.

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So I’m currently at the gym and just finished a workout. I haven’t been here in months, so this felt good though way overdue. I did a decent variety of stuff. Treadmill, abs, elliptical, rowing, sit-ups/crunches/etc, and some yoga. Wishing I could get Irish here again soon. He’s the reason I joined this expensive-ass gym anyway. But with his shoulder still out of commission, he can’t do anything, he claims. Apparently the list of things he can’t do involves more things than I expected and includes many of my favorite activities. Sigh.

Well if he’s not gonna get me sweaty, I suppose I should do it myself. Hence, the gym time.

Anyway, I should be getting off this couch in the locker room lounge and getting home while power hour is still happening. It’s a excuse to polish off that delicious meatloaf I made last night. Mmmm…. With steamed broccoli and mashed red skinned potatoes. Oh man. Forgot that I didn’t eat yet today. Better go do that cuz now I’m starving. Peace.

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I admit I’ve been wanting more sex recently, and understand if you’re in some pain so aren’t totally up for it, but is it really too much to ask for you to cuddles? Even just being affectionate in general would be nice. And some boyfriendship. Ugh. What happened to your A game? Step it up, dude. Cuz I’m getting tired of this B game crap. I’m your girlfriend, who lives with you. I’m not just some roommate. So start acting like you understand that and just cuddle up to me, dammit.

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Holly posted a bunch of questions for men that I’ve always wanted to know the answers to, and I was reading it off to Irish the other day. Surprisingly enough, he started answering the questions. I wish I had written down his answers, since my memory is terrible about these kind of things. But I know it was fairly enlightening, and totally unexpected. Usually he doesn’t answer any of my questions, especially without sarcastic remarks.

So I tried again. There was an episode of How I Met Your Mother where the concept of how every relationship has a reacher and a settler. Marshall was trying to get Lily to tell him which he thought they each were. It was interesting, and I tried asking Irish his opinion on it. I still can’t decide how I feel about his response. Fairly curtly, he said, “There’s no such thing. We’re perfect for each other. Shut up.” After many hesitations and attempts to respond, I finally put my arms around his neck, kissed his cheek, and said, “At least you admit it. And I’m gonna hold you to that.”

Not sure how I feel about it, but I know I don’t really wanna think about which of us is which. And who knows, maybe his snarky, sarcastic, blow-off response is true.

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I’ve been reading a lot of the old posts of the Pervocracy (reading them in order, but I’m only on July 2008) over the last few days and realized how similar, yet different Holly and I really are. Ever since I started reading her blog, I’ve been saying how similar we are, but I’ve realized over the last few months of entries I’ve read that we are decently different too. I had never thought that her want to be dominated would ever bother me, considering I want the same thing, in a way and I also enjoy dominating, but sometimes she can take it a bit too far.

The main reason I say all this is that she fantasizes of being raped/beaten (it’s hard to explain here, but she means it in a controlled, someone-she-can-trust way, not the stranger-with-malicious-intent way). The problem I have with that is my personal past. I’ve been raped. Repeatedly. Mostly within a relationship that I was too weak to get myself out of until several months of this had happened, but luckily I eventually did get out of it. I can’t imagine fantasizing about being raped, considering I’ve already had it done for real. Holly does talk about rape a lot and that she doesn’t approve of it and she touches on all the feminist issues surrounding it, but still. Meh.

Anyway though, besides that bit, Holly and I still have plenty in common when it comes to tastes in men and our activities with them. Meeting her in real life would be pretty cool actually, but I’m not hitting Seattle anytime soon.

Side note: It’s really hard to write a blog while watching How I Met Your Mother on the DVR. Commercials must be skipped on principle!

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Oh I’m sorry. The party that I had to throw at the last minute had very few attendees and didn’t get crazy and out of control. I thought you had fun. I know I did. Well I thought we did. You said you did. Fucking liar. Tell Boobs McGee and not me, when I’m your fucking girlfriend, not her. What the hell?! Luckily I held back the tears.

I knew this was going to end badly. AngryGinger better get here soon and save me. Hopefully. Ugh.

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It’s been a pretty ridiculous week. My usual Tuesday night escapades were enhanced by the addition of Joker and London. She’s Joker’s new girlfriend. I like her a lot and really hope it works out between them. She and I have only hung out twice but already we’ve become close. They joined me for karaoke and were going to bring AngryGinger and Irish, but as is the usual, that failed. We had a pretty great time just the three of us though. And it allowed me to talk with them about things I would be unable to if Irish were present. Since none of us had to be up early the next day, we stayed all night and partied and danced. Joker even got up there and sang. I was ecstatic. We were still a bit foggy when we left at 1am, so I suggested we walk to Sheetz and get subs. It’s only 10 blocks. Well they got halfway and wanted to turn back, swearing it was more than the 10 blocks I’d claimed. I then explained that 10 blocks in my town is not the same as, say, DC blocks, which are distinct and uniform (hah). But it was less than a mile and the military should’ve hardened Joker for that sort of thing. Admittedly though, even I was cold on the way back after getting foods. And I was wearing my leather coat. We parted ways when we returned and I went to my parents’ house to sleep off the booze.

At about 330am, my phone rang and I didn’t recognize the number and the half-asleep me didn’t answer it. Turns out, the number was for the hospital and it was Irish calling me. I woke up again at 530 and saw the voicemail message. He had dislocated his shoulder in his sleep and took an ambulance ride to the hospital. Apparently he called because he knew I’d be upset if he went to the hospital and didn’t tell me. Well that’s the least I’d be. So it was a good call on his part. Of course my first course of action was to call the hospital and locate him and find out his condition. He wasn’t there. He had been discharged not 15 minutes before. So I texted him, surprisingly got a response, and was informed he was home safe and in pain, but fine and was not going to work because he would need a ride and I was an hour away.

I freaked out a bit, to say the least, but in reality I knew he was okay and that if he needed me, he’d let me know, right? Oh, the lies I tell myself. I told him I’d try to get home earlyish to take care of him later, hoping to stay true to it.

Well, as is the norm, things got crazy and I didn’t get home til around 630. I walk in and he’s on the couch, shirtless, and has the most complicated looking sling I’ve ever seen. The look on his face said it all. He was miserable, tired, hungry, and just all around torn up. I could tell he needed some attention, but didn’t want to dote on him since he hates that. That didn’t last long.

We ordered pizza for dinner since he could eat that with one hand and I set him up with an ice pack and anything else he needed. Then he says to me, “you’re gonna have to drive me to work tomorrow.” Which, first off, was not a request, it was an order, and secondly, way to assume I’d do that. Well I would. And I did.

I drove him over an hour to work then came home, waited til 4, then drove back to pick him up and brought him home.  The next day, he didn’t have work because he was getting laser eye surgery, right next to his office. So I had to drive all the way back again. Then the next day for a followup consult. The surgery made it so that he was even more hopeless helpless and I had to continue to wait on him, hand and foot. Not that it was that bad, since he slept most of the time. I had already planned on baking him a cake to celebrate his new eyesight, so I did that while he was asleep. However, I realized I’d hard boiled all the eggs I bought and had to get some from Gunnie, as he was the nearest friend and I didn’t want to leave Irish alone in the house with one arm and no eyes. Well, Gunnie talks a bit loudly, and he hung out to chat for awhile, which meant that Irish woke up earlier than I expected and caught me mid-cake-baking. He wasn’t all that thrilled it seemed, but honestly I don’t think I’ve ever seen him thrilled for anything. Or even all that excited. The most excitement I’ve seen from him was because of his eye surgery, and that’s because he was fixing something that he’d been dealing with for about 20 years. I wish he’d get excited for anything involving me…sigh…anyway, that’s not the point I was making. Granted, after I had taken the cake out of the oven, he kept asking if he could have a piece, but it had to cool off before I could frost it and then cut him a piece. He seemed pretty happy about it though. Over the next few days, he occasionally said in the cutest, most helpless voice “Can I have a piece of cake?” even if it was for breakfast. And yes, I gave it to him. I gave him anything he wanted all weekend and then some. Of course, I also had to take what I wanted from him, refuting his “but I don’t think I can do anything without it hurting”. I proved that to be wrong. Heh. Anyway…

Monday rolled around and I drove him to/from work again, but told him I couldn’t do it Tuesday/Wednesday since I’d be at my mother’s house working on my halloween costume. He almost freaked a bit, and I said “Look, if I didn’t think you were capable of driving yourself, I wouldn’t make you or even let you do it.” So when he got in his car on Tuesday morning and drove off without me, I knew I’d been right. Otherwise, he would’ve come back to make me drive him. Right? Again  with #theliesitellmyself. I texted him later and he said he was alive, which was not what I wanted to hear, but it was acceptable, and meant that he managed to get there unscathed and it wasn’t an issue. So I was off the hook, right? Nope. I forgot that he has to go back for another post-op consult on Saturday morning, which means I’m driving to DC again. Joy. Then another at 30 days. Why he can’t just do these on his lunch break, I have no idea. It took literally about 10 minutes.

Oh well, at least he gave me some gas money to compensate. Though I did inform him that he owes me serious lovings when he stops being injured and that he’s still backlogged for missing the wedding ceremony. He doesn’t understand why that’s such a big deal to me, but I can’t really explain it to him well enough. I mean, I wanted pictures of us together, I wanted pics with the happy couple, I wanted him to see me walk down the aisle, and I wanted to catch his eye when he first saw me, seeing his reaction to my temporary beautifulness. I didn’t get any of that. When he finally did show up, he was so frustrated with traffic and the whole situation, that all he could say was “you look nice”. What the hell is that?! I’m in a $300 dress, with $150 of hair and makeup, and all you can say is I look “nice”?! Ugh! I have not been called “beautiful” by anyone besides my parents and family friends. Never a boyfriend. What is wrong with this picture? I mean, I’m not ugly, from what I can tell. I’m no supermodel, but I’m not ugly. He repeated says “you’re very pretty,” but does it in a very derogatory way, while patting my head. Just once, I’d like to be beautiful.

I even talked to him recently about his lack of affection toward me, and that he’d done a few and it always makes me melt, so why not do it more. The response I get: because if I did it all the time, it wouldn’t be special. What?! It shouldn’t be “special” it should be normal. Dealing with him is like pulling teeth sometimes, I swear.

And yet, I put up with all of this crap and more, all because I love the boy. I must be the best girlfriend in the world.

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