Broken Inside

I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately. I feel broken inside. Dead. Something snapped a few weeks ago and nothing has fixed it yet. I don’t know what to do about it.

I no longer have zest for life. No fervor. No passion. My hobbies don’t fulfill me the way they should. And my social engagements aren’t as happy and fulfilling as I would like them to be. Because I can’t feel anything positive. All I feel is pain. Anger. Irritation. Apathy. Depression.

I just want to curl up and cry most days now.

I’ve been emotionally distant from everyone, though trying to hide it. I’ve lost my love for everything – activities, things, people, …myself. It’s not fair to Spike. It’s not fair to me. It’s not fair to others who love me or are just starting to love me.

I need to find happiness. I need to rediscover myself and my love for life. I need another vacation. I need to figure this out.

I just want to love again.

But… How?

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