Similarities and Differences

I’ve been reading a lot of the old posts of the Pervocracy (reading them in order, but I’m only on July 2008) over the last few days and realized how similar, yet different Holly and I really are. Ever since I started reading her blog, I’ve been saying how similar we are, but I’ve realized over the last few months of entries I’ve read that we are decently different too. I had never thought that her want to be dominated would ever bother me, considering I want the same thing, in a way and I also enjoy dominating, but sometimes she can take it a bit too far.

The main reason I say all this is that she fantasizes of being raped/beaten (it’s hard to explain here, but she means it in a controlled, someone-she-can-trust way, not the stranger-with-malicious-intent way). The problem I have with that is my personal past. I’ve been raped. Repeatedly. Mostly within a relationship that I was too weak to get myself out of until several months of this had happened, but luckily I eventually did get out of it. I can’t imagine fantasizing about being raped, considering I’ve already had it done for real. Holly does talk about rape a lot and that she doesn’t approve of it and she touches on all the feminist issues surrounding it, but still. Meh.

Anyway though, besides that bit, Holly and I still have plenty in common when it comes to tastes in men and our activities with them. Meeting her in real life would be pretty cool actually, but I’m not hitting Seattle anytime soon.

Side note: It’s really hard to write a blog while watching How I Met Your Mother on the DVR. Commercials must be skipped on principle!

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  1. Holly’s avatar

    I’m not in Seattle any more! I moved to Boston!
    …Which is still nowhere near you. Anyway. Feel free to say hi if you do come up here!

    I won’t get too much into the icky fantasies because it’s something I really can’t explain or justify, but I will say this–I’ve been abused for realsies, and it’s nothing, nothing like BDSM play. It’s the difference between a menacing and foul stranger forcing a kiss on you, and your dearest lover forcefully kissing you–it may look like the same action from the outside but the feeling is so many worlds apart.

    1. Data’s avatar

      Exactly. I agree with you there. But I also feel like being raped by a lover (or ex-lover) is, in some ways, even worse than a stranger. And that’s what happened to me.

      Guess I haven’t gotten caught up enough yet to see the Boston move. Congrats on the move and hope you’re liking the East Coast.

      Also, you have no idea how much I squeed when I saw you commented on my post. Feel free to link to my blog from yours. I have a very small readership right now (about 3-5 i think) and I’m trying for more. I think you’re my first commenter too.

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