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Homeward Bound

homeward bound

It’s been awhile since I last posted on here and a lot has been happening. I’ve also been pretty happy for the most part so that could be it. Heh. I’m still working as a Web Designer at the same company. It’s going pretty well. I finished their website in July and have been working on a new website for my friend Jenny’s boss recently. It’s been a fun project.

Things with Sam have been great. I’m feeling better every day just being with him. And we have so much fun and we’re almost always laughing about something. He makes me smile. And rarely makes me cry. It’s a nice change. I’m so happy to have him in my life and I never want to lose him. I don’t know if I could handle that.

But the good news is, I won’t be losing him anytime soon, and I know that because we are BUYING A HOUSE TOGETHER! It’s the cutest house too. It’s a pale yellow, like lemonade, and we’re going to paint the front door a deep red. I’m super excited about the whole thing. Two weeks from today, we’ll be getting the keys and starting a new journey together. I’m so glad to have reached this point in my life and that it’s happening before I turn 30. Heh.

Until we entered into this house adventure, Sam had to reassure me often that he wouldn’t be leaving me anytime soon, and now I am feeling much more secure about it. I’m so ecstatically happy to be getting a house and to be getting that house with the love of my life, the best man I know, my Sam. There are other Sams, but none like this and this one is mine. My Sam is best Sam and I love him with all of my heart.

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I has a job!!

I started work as a Web Designer at a company on Tuesday after the Memorial Day holiday and it’s been an interesting week. I’ve met a lot of new people and promptly forgotten most of their names. I was given a shiny new 27″ monitor and ordered a new Macbook Pro. I was given almost all the information I could have asked for to make the website happen. I got access to all the social media pages. And I’ve basically finished the redesign of the home page already. So things are going pretty great.

Also, life at home has been pretty awesome. When my roommate is actually home, we have neat conversations about stuff and watch Game of Thrones sometimes. When Sam and I hang out, I genuinely feel better about life and that because I have dealt with all the bad things in my life up to this point, I feel like it’s finally turning around. Sam and I built a PC for me this weekend too and I’ve been customizing it and playing some games on Steam. I’ve started dieting more and have lost about 4 pounds already. Thomas has been less of a dickish cat than he usually is, so that’s cool too.

So yeah, things are just coming up me right now. I’m hoping it lasts for awhile this time. Huzzah.

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I lost my job a little over a month ago. I’ve been on the hunt for a new one ever since but am still unemployed unfortunately. I’ve had a few bites here and there but nothing solid until recently. But I still haven’t heard back from the most recent interview so I’m worried I didn’t get it. Friends and family are telling me to stay positive so I’m trying. It’s just hard sometimes. 

Sam has been very supportive of me in this time and that has helped me immensely. He’s been supporting me emotionally and mentally. Along with providing many needed hugs over the past month. Sam really has kept me going during this time. 

I haven’t just been sitting around doing nothing though. After about a week of moping I hit the books hard. I’ve been trying to learn and train with web development stuffs. I’ve touched on Sass and JavaScript as well as training up a bit in Bootstrap, WordPress, HTML, and CSS. I figure the least I can do during my “downtime” is better myself. While I should also be eating better and going to the gym to exercise more, I find that learning is probably the better option. If I learn more then I might get a job faster. I hope. 

Fingers crossed that I’ll find something good soon…

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Things are pretty great right now. I haven’t found a unicorn yet. But I have stopped looking for one because I now have a Sam.

Sam: noun – a nerdy, amazing, intelligent guy who is sweet and caring and makes me want to be a better me

I have one. And he is awesome. He’s fun and cute and enjoys spending time with me. It has been almost 2 months since I met him, but it feels like I have known him so much longer. We both know the other’s quirks and preferences for most things already. He has no problem with my OCD or ADD tendencies, as he has them himself. We get along great and I see him almost every day. He’s loyal and dedicated and pushes me to do better and be healthier. Sometimes he says something annoying, but I can never stay mad at him for long. Overall, it’s going really well, so much so that he’s meeting my parents on Saturday at the birthday celebration for my mom. It got pushed off this year because of the blizzard.

Sam has me reading this book called The Feeling Good Handbook. I just started it last night. It’s about cognitive behavior therapy and is supposed to help me change my thoughts to change how I look at my life to make me less stressed and depressed. So far I haven’t gotten into it much, maybe 12 pages or so. But there are little exercises and test-ish things that gauge your reactions to things and measure how you’re doing, I think. I got to the first exercise when Sam showed up last night, so I haven’t gotten to do it yet. But I will. He made me promise to at least give it a chance and read through the first 2 chapters, which is about 50 pages. And I can’t break the very first promise I’ve made to him. I just don’t know how long it’ll take me to get through 50 pages. My schedule has been crazy for awhile now.

I’ve started exercising again and trying to eat better. The eating is kind of getting away from me, but I’ve been working out about 2-3 days a week. I hope to increase that over time. I recently got a Kinect for my Xbox One, both Just Dance 2015 and 2016, downloaded Xbox Fitness for free, and Dance Central Spotlight came with the Kinect. So I’ve been using a variety of things to work out recently. I even did about 70 minutes on Saturday because I worked out before Girls’ Day started and then again with the girls, dancing and having a blast. I want to get to the point where I’m working out almost every day, even if it’s for 10 minutes sometimes. It’s still something.

For the past week or so, I’ve been thinking on the concept of owning a house in a year. With Sam and Lila, it would work. But we all decided it wasn’t the best move for financial reasons, and I’ve put the dream to rest for now. In a few years though, who knows? I’m not going to give up hope, but I will give in to living in the same apartment for a few years to save money. Lila is a pretty awesome roommate and person, so that’s going well. Sam even said he’d move into the apartment too, once we’ve been dating for a good amount of time, of course. That would help save even more money. And then we could save up the downpayment for an even better house than the one we were looking at.

Work is going great too. We launched the site mid-January and then last week I made it more compatible with mobile and kind of more web 2.0 styled. Feel free to go check it out and such. And if your company needs data storage solutions – whether that’s backup, private cloud, or a full storage solution – we can help you. 🙂


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Everything has changed. Jace broke up with me, Babylon moved out, Lila moved in, and I got a new job. I also went through a month-long relationship that ended abruptly last night.

I don’t even know my own life anymore. Everything is different than it was just a few months ago. I have gained a bunch of new friends but some are slowly fading out of my life already. It seems like I barely see my old friends and that they’re pulling away too. I don’t get to ever have my whole life in order. My work life and living situation got better, but now my personal life has gone to shit. And right before the holidays, when it’s hardest for me to function happily.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful for the things I have right now. I have a great new job and a good working environment. I have a wonderful new roommate to hang out with in our awesome apartment. And Thomas is finally doing better and not getting sick every day anymore.

But the rest of everything sucks and is kinda unstable at the best of times. I was finally doing a little better and I was less depressed than normal for this time of year. But that all went to shit last night. And now I’m back to being a bitter, lonely, depressed thing.

I need hugs…


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Early to Rise

I’ve been up since 5am. I was at work from 6 to 3 then worked more at home tonight. I ran errands, did dishes, cooked dinner, did more dishes, cleaned up the kitchen and watched some ponies while eating meatloaf.

I’ve had a really productive day full of work and housework.


Probably because of the coffee I had at 9am.

Yeah, coffee lasts for about 10-12 hours in my system and keeps me awake all night if I have it after like 3pm.

I’m trying to stay awake so I can actually talk to Jace tonight. He’s at a work thing and still hasn’t left to go home. I just want to talk to him before the coffee wears off completely and I pass out in bed, or on the couch.

The last few weeks have sped by, and they’ve been the happiest I’ve had in ages. I’m happier than I thought I could ever be, really. Consistently. Every day I talk to Jace and it puts a smile on my face. Occasionally chatting with him helps me get through the day. The prospect of seeing him after work is what drives me and then actually seeing him makes my day complete. I’m ridiculously happy with him and he makes me laugh more than anyone ever. I really hope this happiness lasts… I have a really good feeling about this one though.

Fingers crossed. 🙂

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So it’s been awhile since I posted anything at all. I suppose I should recap the last 8 months…

I stopped Nutrisystem because it was actually making me sick. I had lost about 19 pounds total on the program. I have since gained most of it back. I had hoped that eating healthier and more homemade stuff would keep the weight off, but alas and alack.

In March, Babylon and I moved in together. It may seem a little fast but we’ve known each other for 5 years now so there weren’t many surprises. We got a brand new 2 bedroom apartment and it’s fantastic. It’s not on the ground floor, so there’s fewer bugs that wander inside, and there are zero children running up to the patio, as it’s a balcony and it backs to a bunch of trees. It’s also controlled access for the most part, so I don’t get as many random unwanted visitors at the door.

I’ve been making about 80% of the meals we eat every week. Some are from scratch, some are semi-homemade, but it’s all been delicious. GatheredTable has been really great with helping that too. They send me new recipes and meal ideas all the time and it’s been pretty inspiring.

Oh and in a few weeks, late July, I’ll officially be an aunt to a lovely little nephew. My brother and his wife haven’t announced the name yet, but I’m so excited. I’ve been buying everything I see that has foxes on it, not only because the nursery is orange, but also because foxes are awesome. At the baby shower, I gave them a box, with many foxes, and some baby socks. Also, Dr. Seuss books, including Green Eggs and Ham and Fox in Socks. 

Babylon and my anniversary is the 4th and my birthday is next week. I bought myself a new 1TB Xbox One with a bunch of games as an early birthday present. I’ve been mostly playing Neverwinter though. I’m already level 55. Out of 60. And I’ve put way too much money into it, considering it’s a free to play game. But it’s awesome.

I’ve been working on the Carbon Saw stuff recently and I think I’m going to launch a new Indiegogo campaign soon for the new Dr. Voodoo game. Through the awesomeness of Udemy,  I’m trying to learn Swift and also WordPress coding to be able to create the game and make the site better. Carbon Saw is also officially an LLC now. It feels awesome to finally be doing something with my ideas.

I’ve been working freelance recently with a woman who is trying to preserve her family history into a book. It’s a pretty fun project and it’s helping me pay my bills so that’s always good.

I’m still doing tutoring on Saturdays too. It’s been more scarce because of the school year ending, but I’m supposed to see my student this Saturday. Hoping that actually happens.

This week, I’m at camp teaching animation to young children. We’re doing hand drawn on paper and stop motion with cameras and maybe some computer animation later with Scratch. It’s been fun but exhausting. And some of the kids are trouble, but most are pretty good. A few are really good at drawing and are picking up on the basic principles of animation pretty well. So that’s cool.

Well, it’s time for me to take the kids outside for a bit. Most are at the pool today, but a couple stayed behind with me to do more work and have fun with animation stuffs. I made a little video today for stop motion too. You can see it here. It’s a small tip of the hat to America for legalizing gay marriage and taking another step toward equality in this country. Go America!

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Wednesday was my company’s Thanksgiving dinner. So I was off diet for that. There was a hypnotist and it was hilarious. It wouldn’t work on me, or on most of us, but the ones it did work on were so great. You really had to be there to appreciate it.

Thursday I was on diet until dinner when I got calzone with Babylon.

Friday I was mostly on diet except for lunch, when I finished the calzone.

Saturday and Sunday I was off diet.

Monday I was mostly on diet.

Tuesday I was on diet until dinner.

I think I’ll stop doing these weekly updates except for actual weight loss updates, since I keep forgetting to do them anyway. Heh.

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Wednesday I was on diet.

Thursday I was on diet and went to the gym.

Friday I was on diet until dinner, cuz it was Halloween. Went to Greene Turtle with Babylon, Lucky, and a guy from my work.

Saturday and Sunday I was off diet.

Monday I was mostly on diet and did a weigh in. 8.2 pounds lost.

Tuesday I was on diet until dinner. Got Sarku since I was near the mall for my allergy shots and I was so hungry. Hung out with Spike a little while he was on break.

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Wednesday I was off diet.

Thursday I was kinda on diet.

Friday I was on diet until dinner. Spike came over and we got Giorgios and watched Jack and the Cuckoo Clock Heart. It was a good movie, though a little weird.

On Saturday, Babylon and I went to G&Ms for crab cakes. It was delicious. Then we went to my parents’ house so I could do laundry and they could get to know him a bit.

Sunday I was off diet, hung out with Babylon, and did some overtime work.

Monday I was on diet.

Tuesday I was on diet.

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